kathleen (vanityrots) wrote,

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can i detatch my head?

i have the biggest headache ever. i am trying to take the practice test for the PSATs that i have tomorrow but its just not working out for me. samantha and sarah just stopped by. danny is picking them up cuz they are going to spend the nite at his house or something. she asked if i wanted to join them but i told her i dont think so. she said they wouldn't party but i kno them better than that. i am not really a party person i guess, i dont drink. im not rowdy. i don't do drugs. and i hate being around drunk people. so i just stay away from the party scene unless i kno there will be someone there not drinking/doing drugs.i juss really dont want to fuck up my life rite now cuz i am kind of where i want to be for this current time in my life. and if i start to party and drink and do drugs my grades will drop, i will start not caring about my work and stuff. i dont want that to happen only b/c i might go to college. or maybe an art school in frisco. i want to be a personal shopper. so cool. so omar bugs me. he is so gross. i can't stand him now. he is so repulsive and ignorant. he makes me wonder if i still realy like boys. i think i do, but im not really sure. that may be a bad sign. he IMed me like two seconds after he got on and asked what i was doing tonite. i told him resting and he put his away message on. he wants to fuck. five bucks says i dont even like sexual intercourse. so gross. so samantha told this guy brian that i like him. which i dont. but like, i dunno, a month after me n dannielle started dating i met him and we spent like the whole nite or until 5:30 together and he is a great guy. and i remember telling samantha that he was really cute and if i wasn't with dannielle i would try to get with him. well she was talking to him and she said that and he was like, "I thought she likes girls." im not really sure if i do or not. but im not sure if i like him, but he is a really cool guy. i want to get to kno him more. i want a someone. to have. and not to say i love you and shit b/c that is so fake, but to juss have there. and they kno they have you. so gay.
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